25 April 2014

sometimes we want to help someone else through a problem.

that's paradoxical though, for one to solve another. not that it can't be done.
that's what really adept counselors can do. and only if one chooses that path.

however, fear of the process, and subsequent discoveries, paralyze most into stasis. it froze me for years.

it was difficult and liberating simultaneously.

indeed. the Great Deceiver, as some call it, does not evolve, nor would this imaginary spirit want us to, either.

we are trapped in the ghosts of our past, and way too often or easily. we decide we can't change. that we are flawed at core, therefore setting us up to repeat the behavior that again, leads us to believe we are flawed.

forgiving the self is immensely difficult. with equal benefit.

It is said that forgiveness is not for the one who is forgiven, but for the one who forgives. When one is both the forgiver and the forgiven, it seems almost impossible.

forgiving oneself.  it is, at the core, loving self for every aspect. including the ones on the Dark Side. they are merely fuel if we see them as such. and if not, we see them as fatal flaws, and then, guilt, and then, we repeat the behavior that led to the self loathing, or thereabouts. since we accept we are flawed to core, we exhibit our flaws again, feel bad, and start over.  the only way is "so simple": to let go, which means forgive yourself.

such a step is a personal spiritual thing, not a thing of god but of self. True Self, to thine own, be this.


the church of the false god has used it for centuries. if you can inspire her/him to bravery. give them support. they can become all they have in potential.

but not for you. not because of you. but for their Self.

you can't change them. but you can strengthen them -if- they truly are willing.

my little man self has learned these things from intellects towering above mine... and with stubborn resistance all my own.

I think all relationships are the same. biz or personal.
clear lines of communication
no matter the subject at hand.

it's a challenge to our ofttimes fragile ego. but it is attainable.

I would not have made it unless I wanted to. and... that some people, especially one, didn't run away when I slipped, repeatedly.

... and I fail every day. and succeed every day.

but for another you care for, to take care of yourself first: that's the right thing to do. ----- to be there for someone else: self sacrifice is not needed. nor self impairment.

the rare gem we hide: impartial compassion. nearly unobtanium on this timeline.

07 March 2014

medical grace

Toni Corbin of Lebanon Tennessee, whose son, Wallace Peterson, suffered a traumatic brain injury after a motorcycle wreck testified in Nashville. "If God made this cannabis plant and God made us with this Cannabis receptor in our bodies, maybe God has a plan. Who are we to question and interfere in God's plan?"

09 February 2014

it's all coming back to me, anyway

If you think it, don’t say it. If you say it, don’t write it, and if you write it, don’t be surprised. unless you want that.

13 January 2014

Key Points, incomplete

keep up. be strong. stay calm. slow to anger. quick to compassion. always honest. sometimes silent. quick to say thank you. do your best. regret nothing. avoid guilt. forgive others quickly. forgive yourself immediately. fear is useless. be cautious always. laugh often. 

23 November 2013

Heal Thy Body = Healthy Body

Quantum-entangling God provides both the sustenance and science to be taken into the body. 

Then it actually becomes our body. It is another way that we (can choose to) recognize God in
side of each of us. 

It also says much to you bein' what yer eatin', ie,

Heal Thy Body =
Healthy Body


02 October 2012

the future of digital audio


it must require:

very high speed sampling rates.


So high we'll use >100x data rates and storage.

this is to have ultra-low latency for tracking and live work.
most likely this would not run on a standard computer-based system very well due to driver latency. standalone embedded systems would provide best performance.

the systems require end-to-end very high sample rates, from ADC to DAC, in order to achieve very low latencies far below the ability to hear it. simple integral upsampling provides backward compatibility of media assets.

current practice zero-latency analog monitoring will remain essential, allowing favored outboard analog inserts, but ultrasampling will add near-analog latency, allowing favored processing in digital.

sampling rates required are one to two orders of magnitude greater than present to even begin to approach near-analog latencies, more specifically, below perceptual threshold. many claim 7-10ms being below threshold but most musicians can hear as low as 1ms latency, especially percussionists, when monitoring via headphones.

this all works because uncompressed video stream servers, data rates and storage can handle the bandwidth such ultrasampling techniques. the infrastructure is already here.

ironically, this will take some time as it obviates all existing gear. however, we've gone through that before and would be arrogant to say it won't happen again.



a typical ADC takes 7-15 samples to convert into digital (delta-sigma type).  the DAC takes 3-4 samples to convert into analog.

so let's assume the worst: 19 samples, plus 1 more for a buffer internally. let's double it for devil's advocate, for a total of 40 samples. at 44.1kHz, that's nearly 1ms.  at 10x ultraSampling, 441kHz, latency is 0.1ms.

Assuming each patch in a signal flow takes 1 sample on either side, plus 1 sample for processing (no lookahead devices in this scenario), each process in a signal path takes 3 samples. Assume we have 8 processes; this is a worst-case conservatism. Such discrete processes might be Fader, 6 inserts, and Output to bus, for a total of 24 samples. Add the devil's advocate 40 samples for AD/DA path, for a total of 64 samples. Ultrasampling at 10x (441kHz) would reduce complete analog-in to analog-out from 1.5ms to 0.15ms.

To approach analog latency, ultraSample at 100x (4.41MHz) and such latency would be 0.015ms, or less than 1 sample at existing 1x rates (44.1kHz single sample is 0.023ms).

26 August 2012

air travel

ever amusing to watch as the plane fitfully fills with passengers carefully hideously fearfully evaluate each new face chest shirt aura spirit demeanor comes down the aisle and their careless willingness to watch people trapped in line by some seasoned traveller who disdainfully brings a huge bag into is seat space and wastes precious 67 seconds trying to force fit under the ancient passenger seated in front of him jostling the elderly who has no idea not a whim of why their seat is jerking and bumping when they haven't even taken off yet then as finally the attendant grimly cheerfully takes the bag and puts it overhead where the oaf should have and the line staggers forward at fractional feet per minute and the person they evaluated as the worst one passes them by not to be seated by them heaving a sigh without moving praising god that wasn't their seatmate a truly horrific blind seated date for 5 hours and 23 minutes except for the headwinds we are ready to get in line again with the disciplined pilot path to runways leading to fascinating points of interest. 

them there's another 5 hour flight after this many miles and septillion molecules of air to go before I drug myself to sleep with dopamine agonists and pain relievers with unknown mechanism of causality although likely sheer fatigue will do the job perchance to dream, to sleep, aye. 

LAX in perpetual everlasting continuous persistent destruction and rebuilding and demodeling and remodeling with grubby plastic draped to make it even more UN refugee camp atmospheric unnatural with a stark lack complete absence of Delta flight agents in either of their terminals, at great odds with Atlanta where lines of desks manned with bored Delta flight agents were behind every crook and nanny. lined up in alcoves of information just for the asking. it seemed that if I'd walked up to them they'd have bid money to entice me to their desk first. but in LA, all are left to wander and wonder at the rows of sideways flat screens which won't list their flight even though it's one terminal  away.  

fail epically. 

LAX always has clientele which seem to have addiction problems or too many thousand dollar suits or maybe just a stack for just the shoes all mingled with dreadlocked Amerasians plus a female with auburn hair but also a huge blue streak and a huge yellow streak and she seems to be at least 65 and a face that has the bad aspects of the aged visage of steven tyler, all rumpled wrapped in faded rose sweat suit, slackers, cynical midlife men, and a very present older man with a silver bunny head on a cane.