sometimes we want to help someone else through a problem.
| that's paradoxical though, for one to solve another. not that it can't be done. that's what really adept counselors can do. and only if one chooses that path. however, fear of the process, and subsequent discoveries, paralyze most into stasis. it froze me for years. it was difficult and liberating simultaneously. indeed. the Great Deceiver, as some call it, does not evolve, nor would this imaginary spirit want us to, either. we are trapped in the ghosts of our past, and way too often or easily. we decide we can't change. that we are flawed at core, therefore setting us up to repeat the behavior that again, leads us to believe we are flawed. forgiving the self is immensely difficult. with equal benefit. It is said that forgiveness is not for the one who is forgiven, but for the one who forgives. When one is both the forgiver and the forgiven, it seems almost impossible. forgiving oneself. it is, at the core, loving self for every aspect. including the ones on the Dark Side. they are merely fuel if we see them as such. and if not, we see them as fatal flaws, and then, guilt, and then, we repeat the behavior that led to the self loathing, or thereabouts. since we accept we are flawed to core, we exhibit our flaws again, feel bad, and start over. the only way is "so simple": to let go, which means forgive yourself. such a step is a personal spiritual thing, not a thing of god but of self. True Self, to thine own, be this. FEAR is false evidence appearing real. the church of the false god has used it for centuries. if you can inspire her/him to bravery. give them support. they can become all they have in potential. but not for you. not because of you. but for their Self. you can't change them. but you can strengthen them -if- they truly are willing. my little man self has learned these things from intellects towering above mine... and with stubborn resistance all my own. I think all relationships are the same. biz or personal. clear lines of communication transparency trust honesty no matter the subject at hand. it's a challenge to our ofttimes fragile ego. but it is attainable. I would not have made it unless I wanted to. and... that some people, especially one, didn't run away when I slipped, repeatedly. ... and I fail every day. and succeed every day. but for another you care for, to take care of yourself first: that's the right thing to do. ----- to be there for someone else: self sacrifice is not needed. nor self impairment. the rare gem we hide: impartial compassion. nearly unobtanium on this timeline. |
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