a brief moment of what seems to be full integration

it happened whilst holding my newborn son, something akin to looking at that Hubble picture of the 'eye of God' galaxy or some such far flung collection, but much more intense. unless you've held your newborn, you can't have this feeling, although you can have a brief brush with it.

something behind the eyes, so unwavering, i think of the astonishing collection of colors and pixels the newborn sees, with no frame of reference, and recall having a moment like that years ago while following tim leary's path for one amazing day. once the door is opened, that's it, just one Huxley passage over the threshold and you have that available forever. any further trips are really just some playing with yourself unnecessarily.

and that feeling was from the dark wide pupils of my newborn son, unwavering, taking in all and not understanding, just being, taking me in so completely it produced a rush in my spine extending to every single cell. he just kept looking, taking in.

just a moment, of what seemed to be full integration with every particle, or string fragment, and all the spaces between them, in what appears to be this reality. i know not to seek it as it will happen again when i am not expecting it.

it can happen with a moment of music, or sitting against a tree looking up into the massive leaf sculpture and seeing every single leaf for several moments. it is what is needed, that space, to help guide me. maybe you also.

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